How to use tact and skill in handling people?
How to know yourself and your ability?
We need to develop all abilities that we have already acquired within ourselves. But very few people do so. Many men are just running here and there to learn new things, do new things. They don’t know that they already have a huge resource within them.
If you could realize all the power and possibilities now at your command, you’ll possibly shock your relatives and friends.
A circumstance can make an elephant do what the circus master wants. It is happening because an elephant does not know its own potential. And the real life scenario of this is you being dominated by your boss.
Once a carpenter was making toys for his children. Then, one man asked him that he should make more to us and sell. Later he became the richest man in England.
So, just think! A man who used to make toys just for his kids, got an idea that he needs to make more toys and ended up being the richest man in the whole England. And I swear, if you are reading this; you are going to be the best in at least one field; not necessarily money though!
So, remember that you don’t need to leave your present environment to succeed. You don’t need to leave your home and go to foreign countries in search of opportunities. Opportunity is in the palm of your hand. It is just there within you! But you don’t realize that you are such a potentially well fulfilled person.
“Time is a very precious jewel.” Yes, it is even more precious than money. God loves his sons/daughters. So he gave equal amount of seconds in everyone’s life. Now, it is upto us how do we spend such precious time. Most of us don’t want to waste time, but we don’t know what to do in our leisure time. It is the problem for someone who wants to do something in life, but doesn’t get how to do it. Just, brainstorm. If I say you, that you need to do this and that, you will never be a time utilizing person. But, if I don’t advice about it right here, you will at least think yourself/Google about this and find out the best ways to utilize your free time.
The funniest part of human beings is that we are very careful to take care of 100$; but, we have time which is worth much more than it; our time is worth more than the money that could ever exist in the universe. We could change the lives of many people in that times, we could easily make someone else’s life better in that time (along with profit for us!). Money is important; but less important than time.
We use our time as if 1 day or 1 year were but a trifle from an inexhaustible store. We can’t realize that once this jewel is gone, it never comes back. It gets buried in a sea and never comes back to us.
You need to stay prepared for the time. Your time starts now and just now. There are no such things like overnight success, dreams fulfillment in real life. There is a formula for utilizing the opportunity. And that formula is to utilize your time right now to prepare yourself for that opportunity.
Perhaps, every boy in his teenage years had thought to himself that he’ll do this great and that great thing. But when time passes, he forgets what he says. Why? Because he stops believing in his potential. The ups and downs of his life shut his motivation down.
Life is comparable to a checkerboard and a player opposite to us is our time.
With an abundance of ability lying within us, we seem to continue to complain, feel sorry for ourselves and regret that our lives are so short.
Millions of people fail due to procrastination. They keep pending their tasks due to laziness+distraction and never get them done.
Just go, stop using mobile/facebook/twitter. Limit your time to visit educational websites like this. Limit your time for good and bad things. Create a schedule. Create some tasks to finish and keep on going. Don’t ask your friends, they will never want you to succeed because there exists a competition with you and your friend.
But, wake up and do that shit!
It is the time now!
You can do it!
Some of the words of this article is deduced from the book How to use tact and skill in handling people? By Paul P. Parker; This is an excellent book of few pages and I would recommend reading this book. Every words used in this are a gem and can be a life changer for someone!
Reality is that opportunity is a state of mind plus action. When we saw successful people, we think that they were liucky or got all the breaks that they needed. That s not so, they made their own opportunities by keeping the right state of mind, by exercising their creative imagination and doing something about it.
No man has ever been so successful without preparing himself in advance.
In all the history of the nation, there has never been a time when a man could visualize tmore opportunity than he has today.
It is aid that I takes a thief to catch the thief. Take this just as a bonus quote and nothing else than that.
Successful businessman associate themselves with other successful businessman; in other words, water seeks it own level.
Our environment can lift us or let us down. So you should seek good friends, i.e we should avoid people with weak thoughts and motives. Read good books, magazines and editorial that will give you food for constructive thought in your mind. Then soon the thoughts, ideas and even phrases of these authors and speakers will start running through your mind.
In other words, you will find yourselves going around with these authors and speakers. You become one of that kind of people.
Mainly, the success is about our ability to handle people rather than anything else than that.
If you haven’t develop the ability to handle people, it doesn’t matter what else you have developed till now.
People will generally size you up in 10 seconds. So try to make a good first impression and do you know how to do it? It is simple, cover your 95% part of your body with good dresses.
Call that person with his name. for anyone, their name is the sweetest thing in the whole universe.
How to understand people and what motivates them?
- They will follow the crowd.
- They will not fight for sth when they can fight against sth.
- They will not act unless they are prodded and provocated.
(Bonus tip-: You need to be window minded in handling people; not mirror minded.)
Now, comes the tips to selling your first item-:
- Make people feel important. This was exactly what the author has done in his book at first by telling that you have a great potential for the future.
Emerson said,” Trust men and they will be true to you. Treat them greatly and they will prove themselves great.”
- Make your need, their needs. i.e you want sth; then go and say that people are lacking that sth. Don’t do it directly though.
Suppose, I need online lectures of a subject, then I will go to my friends and tell them that do you know about the lectures of this subject? They will start finding them, and soon it will be a issue for 100s of students. And eventually, I have good chances now to get the online lectures.
“Happiness doesn’t depend on wealth, position or possession. It is a state of mind subject to mental consciousness.”
How to handle the hard-boiled fellow?
You know that the candle is very hard substance. But once you take it towards fire, it melts. Once you take the ice towards fire, it melts. So melt that hard fellow with your speech, and your tact. Encourage him to do some talking about him. Learn about him. He’ll respond to our every query if we appeal to his pride and his emotions and his feelings.
“Discord in our mind produces discord in our body.”
Therefore, when we permit our emotions to get out of hand, we are poisoning our bodies. The man, who permits his feeling and emotions to guide his decisions, will find himself aimlessly running amuck and lost in the crowd.
From birth, until death, your greatest problem is how to make people do what you want without getting them irritated.
The man who wants to get it off his chest
Follow this motto for these types of people-” Don’t stop his words until he has poured out all that is in his heart, and has said all that he came to say.
When someone is blasting out something on you, follow this procedure.
- Listen with the interest to what he has to say.
- Listen kindly.
Then, when he seems to have finished, encourage him with a requests to explain some things that he just said to you. He will know that he was a bit over at first.
How to handle the little fellow who thinks that he is a big shot?
Don’t say,” I am going to prove you this.” These types of people want to be like king. Convince the ideas unknown to them as the ideas they forgot now.
That means, say him that he already knows what you are going to convince him now.
Don’t let him to know your point of view. While playing checkers, do you let the other person know what you are going to do after this step. Certainly no! Talking to someone is like playing chess or any game that requires logical thinking. So, don’t show your point of view at the first.
How to cultivate the habit of listening?
Think like you are listening to the best and interesting thing in the whole universe. Have a smile and lean forward to him. Next, when you start to talk, he will imitate it to you!
What if he keeps on talking?
When you see a man’s eyes wandering and his attention slipping, it signifies that in your remarks you have forgotten to consider his special interest and experience.
We can hold their attention. It is not that we can’t. For that, we need to blend our discussion with the things, places, ideas etc with which they have had experience.
Most of us do a splendid job alone, but, few do splendid job with a group. And much of a man’s success depends on co-operation rather than working alone.
The next best tip to attract their attention is to smile.
Smile a bit. Don’t overdo it.
Smile is like a pinch of salt in water. It is one pinch but its effect is seen greatly.
Learn that nothing is good or bad; it is the thinking that makes it so.
Follow this bonus motto in life,” If we can make ourselves think what we really want to think, we can make our lives what we want our lives to be.”
Leaders think. They think because they are leaders. They are leaders because they think.
How to handle an insult-:
- Look with a slight smile at his face
- Then be serious.
- Now, smile again. Opponent gets confused.
- Then say, I want to be sure that I didn’t misunderstand what you say.
Let’s now talk about the YES-BUT approach-:
When you first let them to say something but you don’t agree with them, we use this approach.
BEST TIP-: Try to make numerical figures visualized to them. Don’t say 1000$ insurance. Say it is equivalent to saved money from packet of cigarettes each day. This makes the money look smaller. And there are high chances that he might buy what you will sell.
“Thoughts are the most powerful things; even powerful than the atom bomb. So control your thoughts, use your thoughts to succeed in life. Control your thoughts, and control your life.”
“Feeling of insecurity is man’s greatest enemy.” So avoid feeling insecure. You are a guest to this world. No matter what happens to you, once you are going to be dead. And that’s your realistic story.
We should know very well that those who succeed breathe the same air as we do; and have the same numbers of time as we have.
Learn that every man is a pessimist. But he wants to buy things from an optimist.
Before you criticize someone-:
Look them from your point of view, look by going into their shoes. They may be right from their circumstances and their point of view.
Before criticizing anyone, teach them what you want to make them learn (or what if they don’t know; you are going to criticize them)
Criticism should always be accompanied by praise and it’s vital.
Your one favorite person can block your career by taking your advantage. Remember this!
Selfishness-: things like envy, jealousy, and selfishness indicates sty small in a person.
We can’t get over our point to a closed mind. So, first; before making anyone accept our THING; we should make their mind open. We must neutralize their mind.
It is like this. Before he sows the wheat, the farmer must prepare the soil; otherwise he would get a poor crop.
“Our program must be built on solid foundations, but it can’t be sold, if it cannot capture the imagination, unless we appeal the emotions.”
Thoughts of jealousy, fear and worry are bad and thus, they will destroy your nerves and glands which will bring metal and physical diseases of all kinds.
Don’t sell any THING, sell what they DO.
We emphasize things rather than what that thing will do for them.
Suppose you are going to buy a coffee. The name coffee with blab la doesn’t impress anyone to buy your coffee. It is the syrup syrup that counts.
Understand what makes them emotional. Find out their vulnerable emotions.
The quality of car doesn’t impress a housewife. What impresses her is how many people can stay in that car.
What people buy?
How to ask for a decision?
A young man asked for his girlfriend to kiss him in a very interesting way. He asked that is she wanted to kiss him at her home or outside.
If he had asked ere if she wanted to kiss him, she may have said no.
Once someone says no, his pride doesn’t let him change the decision even if it is for the good.
How to make a man talk?
Find out what that man knows greatly. Then ask questions related to that. He will start talking with great interest.
Asking the they know give them a chance to feel superiority, and; you know that humans love to feel superior.
Likewise, when someone starts to say something; like jokes or anything; then don’t say them that you have already listened to it. Instead laugh out loudly at the joke. Let them be superior. But, force your sales decision to them.
How to handle the customer who says he is satisfied?
The good salesman is not the one who makes the customer satisfied. But, it is the one; who makes the customer dissatisfied about where he is currently.
So, dissatisfy about him why he needs more. Make him feel sad about the situation that he is satisfied now.
“Fear is the unintelligent belief that doubts God’s Presence and power.”
“It is better to make mistakes than rather not to take decisions.”
Remember that, the man who earns $20000 per year doesn’t need to have 5 times more skill than the person who earns $4000 a year.
But, many people think so.
In a horse race, the winner of the horse earns in millions but the loser earns no money at all. There is not a difference between the distances between the horses at the rate of many miles; but it’s only few inches.
And the same is true in life.
Now, comes everyone tough thing to do. How to speak in front of audience?
Step 1-: Get over your fear of critics.
Step 2-: Don’t memorize. Instead make charts while remembering your lecture.
Step 3-: Practice it daily.
Step 4-: Read good books about the subject you are going to speak. Listen to good speakers, lecturers.
How to make decisions?
- Take a paper.
- Write an idea i.e. what you need to get
- Compare both/many ideas on the basis of advantages and disadvantages.
- Decide what you want by calculating the advantages and disadvantages.
“Believe that it is impossible to fail and you will never fail.”
“As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.”
This book was written by Paul P.Parker. This is an extremely good book and I suggest you to read the book.
You can buy it from here-: